Wednesday 17 July 2013

It's a Wonderful Dog's Life with apologies to Frank




'Scuse me!

 'Scuse me!

 'Scuse me!

 What?
I burped!



It would be better if I'd never been born.

Poof!
Ben - why are we in the Tuckerville train station?

Hey...what's that?

 York?! That's the name of my cat-nemesis!
You've been given a great gift, Tucker - a chance to see what life would be like without you.
Ben, we must be in Tuckerville - 
there is the MickelTuckergate Bar! 
No, Tucker - this is the MickelCATgate Bar.

Stocks!? But, I outlawed stocks!
(even bizarrely large ones)
(Sigh.) Tucker, you never outlawed stocks because you were never born!
I need to go to Martini's, Ben. 

Oh, and Nick, my little friend here would like mulled wine, heavy on the cinnamon and light on the cloves.

And where do you come off calling me Nick? I don't know you from Adam's off ox!

Out you two pixies go, through the door or out the window!
Pixies? Either I'm off my nut or he is, Ben!

And what's with all the cats?
They are everywhere!

Well, Tucker, every cat on the street thrived because...
...you weren't here to scare them away.

I've heard of things like this, Ben. You've got me in some kind of spell or something.

Are you my Mother?

Mother, don't you remember me?  I'm your son Tucker.
I've never had a son named Tucker! (Plus, you have too many legs.) Get out of here before I call the police!


Ben, take me to see Mary.  
You're not going to like it, Tucker.
Why did you bring me here?

Where is Mary?

Tucker, because you weren't around to reject plastics and ground floors, Mary became a nun.

Oh, Mary!

I completely bummed out.  Help me, Ben. Get me back.

Strange, isn't it? Each dog's life touches so many other lives.

Remember - no dog is a failure who has friends.

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