Monday, 20 July 2015

Bill & Merri's Excellent Adventure

A Secret I-90 Lewis & Clark Interpretive & Keelboat Center?
Yeah, and then these two stoned guys pointed us in your direction. Hey, you two doing anything after your shifts are up?



Yes, Tucker, Clark was a pioneer. Of invented spelling. 

Look, Ben! Lewis & Clark camped in tents, just like us!
Or not.

Tucker, do you know what this trip meant to Science? It meant actual advances in the field of Science.
A dog!  Just what this story needed.
Hey - you brothers want to hang out with a couple of familiari?

Oh, uh...we can see you are busy...

Well, how do you think it feels to be locked here in an eternal struggle, embodying the concept of "nature red in tooth and claw"?  I used to write poetry in the style of the romantics, mainly Burns and Browning.  I strove to capture the natural grace and sublimity of the prairie, its sights, sounds, and scent. My muse is being seriously compromised by this, let me tell you.

Hey, Ben...ever notice how prairie dogs kinda look like badgers?

Badgers!? Why, if it weren't for this glass case, I'd gnaw that smirk right off your face.
Maybe "Ree" means "Patronizing and Frankly Exploitative Gesture of an Alien Invader."

So how did that whole peace thing work out?

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Meeting the Big Dog

We came to South Dakota for the waters. We were misinformed. How do we talk to the Big Dog?

He couldn't find a prayer in the Bible.

Years ago, I tried to make him go and see a psychiatrist. I thought he'd kill me! Always violent.  Well it's as much a part of him as ... the shape of his head. He's Dix Steele. And if you want him, you've gotta take it all, the good and the bad. I've taken it for 20 years and I'd do it again.

Hey, Dix! The streets are dark with something more than night.

You'll always be a two-bit cannon. And when they pick you up in the gutter dead, your hand'll be in a drunk's pocket.
Apologies to Casablanca, Out of the Past, In a Lonely Place, The Woman in the Window, Pickup on South Street.

Saturday, 4 July 2015

Blueberries




What's this?

Ben - help me up.

So, Tucker - what do you see?
Tucker?
Mmmmmph.

Twilight Zone, Wyoming-Style

What's this all about?
Someone is fond of stating the obvious.
And restating it.
Do I look fat in this?
Tucker - I'll sleep here.
Sure, Ben. And I get an upside-down adobe hut?

This guy says we should go inside.
Hey, Ben - one of his people left this here. Yeah, Tucker. I'm betting it was involuntary.

Ah, yes, Tucker. By introducing this twisted, old tree trunk into the center of the domestic sphere, the builder created a liminal space between past and present. It symbolizes our transition from a wild, unfettered existence to a hearth-loving, domesticated one.

Right, Ben. And these bar stools symbolize a transition from  sober to gin-soaked.

Now that's a load-bearing wall.
Really? No vacations or sick days and not even minimum wage?
Something tells me we might be in Minnesota.
What do you mean by trapped? And, why are we whispering?
Let's split before we're stuck on a curiosity shelf.

Ben - we gotta get out of here, but how do we get down?
Ben? Ben??

Qui suis-je et comment puis-je l'enfer sortir d'ici?

Faisceau nous up, Scotty!

Friday, 3 July 2015

Pioneerish

Shop at Pendleton Woolen Mills or make a historical pilgrimage in honor of brave men and women?


Horse camp? Let's tell Michelle!

Thousands struggled along the Oregon Trail.

Using primitive U-Hauls.

And flat, metal cows.
Can't wait to rough it, just like pioneers.
Wait. Roofs? Porch lights?

Queen sized beds??

Refrigerators!?

Heat?!?

Seriously. Gas stoves?

At least we can see some wildlife.
Hey, Ben, it says we should have bear pepper spray. Ben?  Ben??